Buddy

The library had no reception. So when I got out, I saw that sms from my mum. It really hurt. But I tried to be strong. I went back to the meeting, but I had to leave. My heart's just not in it now. I broke down in front of them all and Cynthia gave me a hug. I have really nice friends. And I would really like to thank every one of them. But I just can't speak about it. Not now... I can't stop crying.
I just went to his FB. And I saw messages posted by friends and family. Everyone is praying for him. I close my eyes and pray every so often throughout the day.
I really wanted to hold his hand, but I was afraid that it might hurt. I didn't know what to say, though I have so much I want to. I just didn't want him to hear me cry, I don't think it will help. He needs positive feelings, all I do is cry and cry. I never really knew him. But what I know is that he is an exceptional guy. I kept looking back... Working with him and how we would talk about everything. We'd bitch about this guy and that. He'd go take food for me, yogurt I really loved. He gave me chocolates. He loved playing Cher in the container. I passed him extra safety glasses cos his shattered. The first time I met him was in the office, and my mum made me work with him. I think he's the hardest working chap in that office. He helped me reach for the files on the top shelf, lay them out on the table then boxed them with me. I really enjoyed working with him. He was really... exceptional.
He protected me from weird men onboard. He covered up for me when I went to the rec room after lunch. He messaged me when he knew I was upset I got banned from going onboard. He was so sincere. And I really appreciated it. I just don't think I thanked him enough. And now as he lays there... God, please be with him. I've never felt so much love... An entire family, friends, just so lovingly speaking to him. Please wake up. Surely, with so much love, anything is possible. Against all odds. Please, keep fighting. Keep fighting, cos we're all rooting for you.

It's made me realise so many things. And as confused as I am, I know what I want. I don't want to let go. I don't want to walk away. But you make it so hard for me ):
The silence isn't so bad, till I look at my hands and feel sad. Cos the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly..