29/9

I think Stats quiz was tricky. It probably wasn't as easy as it seemed. Otherwise, I wouldn't have finished so quickly. I am not expecting an A from it. I was the first to leave the seminar room, was getting hungry too! And growling stomach was embarrassing! Met up with Hann Khee for lunch at Raffles City. Food was nice! YUM. Then we headed to National Library (omg, my first time!) to "mug". Couldn't really find a place to study in the library though, so we went to Hanis and studied, drank coffee and yingyang. It's a super nice place to study. Conducive. Nice to just chill too! Think I might go there more often (:

Studying hard for TWC midterms on Saturday! That's Hann Khee's head. You can see that he's really really into his BGS readings! SIGH. Can't imagine next sem. Time for BGS. It's like reading one GP package per week or something!
TWC... I think the questions I posed today for class part were goooood! HA! Smart :P
I really wanted to go home straight after TWC. Last night, I got about 3 hours of sleep. So throughout the day, I was feeling really crappy and tired. But somehow, Hann Khee managed to use his power of persuasion to get me to stay for training. Maybe it was just guilt trip... I don't know! Anyway, I had to walk pass the T-junction to get to the station, and I saw the gloves and pads all laid out... So tempting. Anyway, really in need of a workout to perk me up! Muay Thai is awesome when it comes to destressing. And my sparring partner today... Oh man, I like her. We both all out roundhouse kick and just uppercut, elbow each other without reservations. Damn fun... Hmmm... Need to work on my right roundhouse. Not twisting the hips enough. I guess cos I'm left master foot? I don't know! And shadow boxing... Looks much cooler than it actually is. Right now, still feeling awkward punching and kicking air. But one day I am gonna be like the seniors! And I will look cool too. Haha! Check out my freaking blood blister, which I am actually very proud of!

Cool eh? :D Barefoot training. Pretty good. But my skin's gotta get thicker, if not it's gonna hurt like crap. I suffered walking home just now!
I think I am physically much... fitter than most girls. They probably haven't gotten much exercise in awhile I'm guessing. Damn proud of my sprints just now during warm up (managed to lap some girls) cos I kept up with the guys! WOOHOO! HAPPY. But technique wise... I think I need more practice. I better stop missing so many sessions! Friday, I will probably head down to Hilltop with Jess, and next week maybe 3 times if possible. I am relatively free next week since all my midterms are over this week! Just LTB and TWC individual assignment to chiong! Great news... We got Rulang! :D Bad news... E-waste companies. Don't this people ever go to work?!

Food journal 29/9
Breakfast:
Rolled oats with peanut butter and banana

Snack:
1 Mr Bean red bean pancake

Lunch:

Terriyaki chicken, beef, egg and soup from the teppanyaki stall. Pretty worth the $6.80 I paid for it. Shiok!

Snack:

Coffeeeeeeeeeeee
Ham and cheese sandwich with tomato, from Hanis!


Dinner:

After training... not much choice left. Meiji chocolate milk and some strawberry yogurt from 7-11.

I think I've been having good food recently!



SHIOK SHIOK SHIOK! I love my food (:

26/9

I think I am gonna KO soon. So tired from studying, and workout just now. Really. Damn. Tired.
Shit, no life. Just biz law.
My mind... is just filled with the Hong Kong Fir Approach. Innominate terms. UCTA. Misrepresentation. ARGH! Sickening. I like biz law, but this is way too much. Day 3 of non-stop biz law. I have to start on Stats NOW!
I need caffeine to perk me up ):

Food journal 26/9
Breakfast:
Muesli with oatmilk
I can't get enough of this. So addictive. YUMMY.

2nd meal:


Yes, that's tuna. Yes, I don't eat mayo. In my attempt to cut out bread as much as possible, I am reduced to eating tuna, plain. It's still nice though a tad dry.
Pomelo. I guess I will be eating more of it in the days to come. Have 2 in my house, just waiting to be eaten (:

Lunch:

Egg in wholemeal wrap. Topped with lots of pepper! Nice. I'm out of wraps! Maybe it's a good thing.
1 glass oatmilk

Snack:
2 wholewheat hazelnut crackers

Dinner:


Tofu, prawns, fresh kidney beans, carrots and cabbage. I told Aunty to never ever put potatoes into my soup again. I shall not eat potatoes! Godpa baked pumpkins today too. Rosemary and olive oil included. Heaven!
I also saw pizza from Modesto's. Apparently Godpa ordered 7 boxes for lunch today. Luckily I didn't go over to Grandma's house today. If not sure sin. But I did pick off the beef from one slice of pizza.

Supper:

Golden kiwi (:
Peppermint tea. Apparently it helps relax muscles. I hope so! Good for digestion, helps with cramps too! I shall try the next time I have cramps man. Haha. Hope I don't get cramps though! Cramps suck.

Workout of the day!
Ok, did about 15 minutes of ab work. From Insanity. I really CANNOT TAKE IT. Think I am gonna ache tomorrow.
2.4km run
8 X 20s/10s squats
Attempted to run at max effort, but, ouch. Stitch. And I think I consumed too much fluid today, so when I ran, I felt so full of water. And I keep wanting to pee! ): Haven't ran in awhile too. Need to run more! Sprints soon! Can't wait (:

Muay Thai outing to Sentosa and Night Safari! Wonder if I should go. Maybe just go for one.
I replied Kelvin. Jess and I wanna train at Hilltop gym and take part in our first competition in January. I am gonna spend my November and December training hard! Exciting (:

Ok, I guess it's time for some Stats, then off to bed!

I miss someone! BOOHOO. Sad, no one to talk to. Feel so loner again :P


The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

So true...

26/9

I can't wait for mid term break! I wanna go back to sleeping early, and waking up a little later. Right now, I'm sleeping at 1 or 2am more than thrice a week. It sucks! The bed just feels so good, especially when my body is perpetually nice and sore from workouts. ARGH. Really wanna sleep. It's already 26/9, 0145 hours. OMG. Biz law. ZZZ...

Today I went to Godma's house. I got a room to study with Izabel. I like it when I am around people with a common objective.
Ah, kids are noisy! But it doesn't mean I don't like them. I just don't like rascals! My child will never be like that. I was a good child ok! My mummy says I was the best. Never gave any trouble. I didn't even cry when I fell off the bed and my nose bled. Lol. Ok...



Not too many mooncakes this year. Cos mummy only bought 5 boxes this time. I think last year had thrice the amount! I forbid her to buy any more! So unfair, always she buying. HMPH!
Lesser options for me too. Which is good! I think I ate a total of one whole mooncake. I just love snowskin mooncakes. And these with rum, champagne or brandy inside are damn good! I like! But my favourite is the yam one, with the flakey skin, which we didn't get this year. Maybe next year then! EWWW! 3 boxes of durian mooncakes! I took a tiny little bite from Jeremy's. I still don't like it. It smells like diesel. Durian breath is gross. Haha. Ok la, the durian in this mooncake tastes better than others I have "tasted". Less like petrol :P

Ok, I really need to sleeeeeeeeeeeeep! I got so many pimples. I think I look like Pikachu now with 2 pimples on my cheek. SHIT. Happens when I don't get enough sleep ):
I have a facial appointment later at 2pm. Gonna enjoy it!


We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

Goodnight! (:

24/9

BIZLAW BIZLAW BIZLAW BIZLAW. All day, Biz Law. Tomorrow, Biz Law. Sunday, Biz Law. SHIT. It's a damn open book test. Why am I studying so much?! I need to start on Stats.

Food journal 24/9
Breakfast:

Muesli with oatmilk and banana
Gonna have this more often. Damn nice.

Meal #2:

Toast with scrambled egg. I can't resist the ketchup sometimes. Ok, will make the effort to stop. Sugar and sodium. Too much.

Snack:

Peach and mango yogurt. I wanna replace these with Greek yogurt soon! Greek yogurt, mixed with peanut butter to create a dip for fresh fruits! Sounds good, doesn't it? :D

Snack:
Nuts, dried mango strips
SUGAR. Not good. I need unsweetened ones soon.
1 cup coffee (to stay awake)

Dinner:


Broccoli and mushroom. If that looks like leftover soup, it's because it is! Just that I dumped prawns into it. Still, as yummy today as it was yesterday!

Indulgence:
A few spoonfuls of fried rice. Yes, I consider rice an indulgence!
1 cream cracker
I hope I don't start eating cake again later :/

I really wanted to go for a run/sprint today. But the ground's really wet, and I am not comfortable running like that. Last time I did that I almost fell a couple of times. Not good. And leg gets wet whenever I go through puddles, which I do not like!
Insanity... For those who don't mind working out in a pool of your own sweat. And... Swearing keeps you going!

+


I don't know if you can see this... But that's just a small area of sweat. I almost slipped on my sweat a few times just now :/
But doesn't it feel good? I really really enjoy it. DIG DEEPER! I feel stronger already :D To health and fitness! And the added bonus: A wonderfully toned, athletic body! YES!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY?!

They are not picking up the freaking phone!!! I am so pissed. I really don't feel like going down, but looks like I'll have to some time next week. CRAP LA.

Horrible night. I fell asleep praying and woke up an hour later at 2 plus, only to start sneezing and sneezing for the next hour. Do you have any idea how tiring it is to sneeze?! SIGH. I am gonna take a nap later.

It's a new day. Time to "mug" biz law, then Stats. All the best Maddie.


Some people say that I have an attitude- Maybe I do. But I think that you have to. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does- that makes you a winner right there.

23/9

We were able to get Beyond Social Services to agree on our project. I never thought I would ever return back to the center. We will definitely be doing a run there. But we really hope we will be able to get a primary school tomorrow. Don't think I will go for the visits. Anyway, I need to try to contact these e-waste companies tomorrow. And maybe go to primary schools in Woodlands area if there's no luck in the West.
I think we need to get the morale up. It's starting to get to me... Meanwhile, I was really trying my best to keep the energy up just now, even though it's really hard for me to do so too. Some people need to try harder too. I really see a lack of effort.

I need to get started with studying for tests next week. 3 tests. Daunting.
Firstly, I don't know what Prof expects from biz law. How to answer the case?! I need a sample ):
Stats... I just need to practice on more questions. Stats isn't difficult. It's just boring. Lack of interest = lack of results!
TWC. Should be fine. I hope. Test is on a Saturday. Absolutely hate going to school on the weekends.

Should I go to Godma's house for Mid-Autumn festival celebration? I think I need to study. And if I go, I will end up eating mooncakes, which I really don't want to. I see the first few boxes of mooncakes at home already. Damn. I've been eating way too much and not working out enough this week. Just stressed and all my time spent on studying this whole week/projects. At midnight, I ate a slice of cake! And I wasn't even hungry. Just stressed. Guess I can be an emotional eater sometimes. But it's also not good to deprive yourself. Sometimes, I should just indulge. Or I'll end up bingeing.

Food journal 23/9
Breakfast:
Weetbix with oatmilk, banana and almonds
Coffee during LTB

Lunch:
YTF
It's really cheap with the institution card at Kopitiam. $2.80 for 7 pieces.

Snack:
Tuna sandwich

Dinner:

Cabbage, tofu, mushroom, carrots, peanuts. Really spicy soup today.Perfect for cold days.
You probably think my food looks damn boring everyday. But honestly, I don't think I can ever get sick of soups, YTF. I don't just eat it for the sake of following a stricter diet, I actually truly enjoy it.

Snack:
3 pieces chocolate
1 golden kiwi

I might end up eating something else later tonight too. Planning to stay up to study. Really much more efficient at night, especially when the whole house is asleep. I get the peace and quiet. I think I prefer studying alone too. Less risk of digressing.
Took a 2 hour nap just now to make up for the lack of sleep last night. 3 hours of sleep, I get headaches. Really not good. I hope that nap is able to sustain me for another 3 hours. Biz law time!

22/9

It's really amazing how fast time is passing now. Just when I need it the most ): Of course, I am not the only one going through this. I think most people who actually give a fuck about their studies will probably be feeling somewhat like me.
I am glad TWC presentation is over. Now's just the report left. I am really happy with how it worked out. Prof said we really set the bar high for the rest of the class, and that our presentation really surpassed his expectations. The best, yes!

Tomorrow's LTB quiz. We've spent all our time at LTB just focusing on our CSP, and now suddenly they are testing us on Leadership and Team Building proper. Like esoteric shit. Nice la. 5 chapters or so. One powerpoint has 80 slides. Nice. Can't imagine reading the textbook when I am assuming the ppt is already summarised. There's only time to read and not to study or memorise anything. Hopefully, my memory, which is supposed to be pretty good based on past experience, doesn't fail me.

Ok, I think you can tell I am pretty pissed off with stuff. It's not been a good day, other than our presentation. I really can't wait for mid term break. After tomorrow's meeting, I am going to take a nap when I get home and hopefully workout in the evening. Then it's studying for 3 other quizzes next week. Biz law, Stats and TWC. I pray I don't fall sick. Staying up so late so often is not healthy! I am already feeling... Shitty. Cold.

Back to studying. TA says go sleep. But how can I? I've never been someone to just give up. I'll stay up another hour. Sleep at 1am, wake up at 6am AGAIN. Sickening. Really.

I need more encouragement!

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.

Busy

It's been a hell of a week... I am just glad that by evening today (22/9), I will have one less thing to worry about - TWC presentation. I spent the entire weekend on CT idea journal, which accounts for 10-20% of my grade. But it's still half a mod, and I heard the least people get for idea journal is a B. And I only had 12 ideas in the end. Louis had 30. Really... Spoil market ):

I will probably get less than 5 hours of sleep tonight. I don't think I can make it for Muay Thai. Too tired, too busy. I haven't been like this since JC! And that feels like ages ago to me! I left TWC meeting earlier, while the 3 guys went back to school after dinner at Kopitiam. At midnight, Ron called me. They were still in school at 12! Omg... I feel bad for leaving but I really have to study for the quiz on Thursday cos I heard LTB quiz is not easy. I really do like the TWC group. Elwin's been my friend since Starring, which means he is one of the first friends I made in SMU. I'm glad we bid for the same class this sem and cheated to get into the same group. Ron and Su Ai, they are very driven individuals, always striving for the best. Rishab and Cindy always have good ideas. I wonder what people think of me! Hmmm...

I am taking a break from studying for LTB quiz now. 0039 hours. SIGH. Depressing to be up this late, knowing I have to wake up at 6am! ZZZ.
I just took the evaluation. I scored 31/35. Does that mean I am an effective leader?
And LTB is driving me nuts. We are just 2 weeks away from execution of our CSP, but we haven't found the school. And the guy from the E-waste company sort of confirmed but whenever I call, his line is either engaged or he is out of the office! SIGH. I need to call again later! This needs to happen! And we need to stay positive. I mean, it's good to come up with a backup plan, and maybe even a Plan C, but I think we should be more optimistic. We shouldn't defeat ourselves man... I kept telling them... But some of them are... Not as optimistic.

Well... No time to blog.
In summary, it has been a shit week in school, but I had fun at Muay Thai on Monday. I really look forward to training, but sadly I will not be able to attend maybe the next 2 trainings due to tests. Need to study.
Anyway, just shots of what I have been eating recently... Trying my best to eat clean!





I really enjoyed the Subway salad. But it's pretty expensive. More so than the sandwich or the wrap, but you get a lot more greens. Shall ask for less sauce the next time, but I really like the yellow mustard and sweet onion combination.
I think I am consuming a lot of calcium recently. A lot of milk. I have at least 5 packets of milk in my fridge now. All sorts. Coffee, chocolate, oatmilk, skimmed, fresh. I am having about 3 cups a day, and I like it.
There's a lot of papaya at home too. And I love having them ice cold. Really refreshing. Had it with yogurt the other day. Goes pretty well together. Try blending them together to make a smoothie. Really good! (:
I will need to pack food in the morning. I won't have the time tomorrow to have lunch, another meeting for TWC! Our very final one before presentation!
Wish us luck! We really put in a lot of effort on this one!

18/9 - CT DAY

SHIT SHIT SHIT. I am taking way too long doing this ): I've only completed 4 ideas so far. I think I need five times more ):
I'm spending about half an hour per idea? Generation + drawing. All this for a f-ing half mod! I should be spending more time on something else!!!! Like biz law! Oh gosh, so freaking stressed now.

Woke up at 11am today. So I guess I will be able to sleep later tonight. I hope. Maybe another 3-4 ideas before I sleep. It's already the 19th of September! Which reminds me, I'm supposed to finalise the partnership with the company by today. But I can't! Cos he asked me to call him Monday afternoon! ):

Food journal:
Breakfast:
Muesli with banana and oatmilk

Lunch:
Soup from yesterday... or was it 2 days ago? I'm always eating the same soup over a few days I realise!

Snack:
Chocolate milk with one spoon cornflakes. Damn those cornflakes! So nice and crunchy ):

Dinner:

Chicken breast with tofu, broccoli, cabbage, bayam, carrots, long beans... All the good stuff! Really enjoy eating like this!

Snack:
A handful nuts
1 cup chocolate milk with muesli
Damn nice! And I need to finish the chocolate milk by tomorrow! Thus, the excess of chocolate milk today!


Worked out too today! Was in serious need of one. Stress relieve and now my mind is so much clearer (:
Core cardio and balance. Painful. But so good (:

It's school once again on a Sunday! Will look forward to 3:30pm!!!!!

17/9

Today, I shall sleep earlier! Another 8% to charge for my laptop then I am going to sleep (:
3 days of sleeping at about 2am... Really getting to me. NEED SLEEP.

I had to go to school today to hand in my Stats tutorial, which I spent ages on last night! I finally got my GC to work this morning so I could do InvNorm stuff. It's been almost a year since I last did any JC math! And I really forgot how to do a lot of it. Had to call py today to ask how to use the GC again. 2ND VARS. AHA!
I got to the pidgeon hole 10 minutes late ): Dropped Prof an email. SIGH. Hope he doesn't deduct marks! Last Stats tutorial I got 9/10. So happy can. Hahaha!

Sat at SOE benches near Mr Bean for almost 3 hours working on my slides for the TWC presentation next week. I would have volunteered to do the presentation actually. But I am really swamped this week ): SIGH! Ok, next presentation maybe! Listing down all my quizzes and mid-terms tests and deadlines for my work... It's so daunting. So depressing. I have to work much harder than this! And I can't find the time to STUDY. Everything I do is just homework or projects, which is learning something, yes, but it's not STUDYING in that sense. You get me? SIGH.

Had our first Project Sunshine general meeting today. JS and I have to work on more logo designs!!! And soon, we will have to do some marketing collaterals for fundraising. Luckily, JS and I know each other since FTB. We are a good team! Just 2 people though, quite sad. Smallest department. Haha.
We had early dinner at Thai Cafe at Sunshine Plaza. My second time eating there. And I have to say the food is really quite good. One of the better places, and really affordable too. We ordered about 6 dishes and it cost each of us about $6. Think it's a good deal huh. The food is quite authentic too. Of course, never better than Thailand's street food la. I miss the food there. SIGH. Good memories of skipping school near promos to go shopping and eating there!
I think I'll be going to Krabi next year for our R&R!

Food journal 17/9
Breakfast:

I will never get sick of this. Weetbix with banana, almonds and oatmilk!

Lunch:
Chicken breast wrap
Papaya soy milk from Mr Bean
The whole time I was sitting at SOE benches, I was being tormented by the smell of pancakes from Mr Bean and the smell of cookies from Subway. EVIL! Craving for white chip macademia, double choc and oatmeal & raisin cookies! ):

Dinner:
Thai food, no rice please!
We had an omelette, green curry with chicken, black pepper chicken, kangkong, pork... Mmm, what else... I just wished it was spicier! But quite a number of them can't eat spicy food ): And no beef. The beef at this cafe is really good. Too bad couldn't order that either! I didn't overeat. Thank goodness. I took more vegetables, trimmed off fat and skin from the chicken, didn't take the gravy. And they are still asking me why I don't eat rice and why I remove the fat and skin from my meat.
They will never get it! Sometimes, I really don't feel like answering them either. We need to change the way we eat yo!
I know I will probably have a hard time in Laos. Cos there's lots of rice. I will see what I can do. Thankfully, I have a FTB friend who eats somewhat like me. We shall bring some tuna there! Haha. Will try to eat as normally as I can. I guess I probably won't get to exercise there? SO SAD! ):

16/9

It's the third day in a row that I'm up past 1am )))): But at least I can now say that I learnt something! I learn like a thousand times more doing my assignments than sitting in his lecture!!!! SIGH. Wednesday mornings ):
Week 7 there's 2 tests ): Biz law and Stats. Next week, there's LTB. Next week, CT idea journal, and week 7 LTB learning journal ): Next week, there's also TWC presentation! Week 8 will probably be the execution of our LTB CSP! WOW! What a fantastic 2 weeks I have in store for me! ))))):
But! Good news! Seems like the E-waste company is pretty keen on working with us! Will have to follow up later. Please God! Our group really needs help!

I am soooo sleep deprived ):
Mummy asked me if I lost weight. No, I didn't! Just that my jeans have been threatening to fall off the entire day! ): Size 25 leh ): Damn those jeans! It caused me such discomfort the entire day!


I really hope I can get through this 2 weeks. It's going to be HELL!

Food journal 16/9
Breakfast:
1/2 bowl nestum
2 egg whites, 1 yolk

2nd meal:
1 slice tuna bread
1 cup coffee

Lunch:
Thai chicken vermecelli. I didn't even finish it. Maybe 2/3 of it?

Snack:
1 slice tuna bread
1 cup ginger water

Dinner:

Soup I have been craving for! Chicken breast, tofu, cabbage, sweet potato, kidney beans and chilli! (:
1 bowl papaya

Indulgence:
I can't believe... I ate almost the entire packet of biscuit... THEN I looked at the label.
Calories = 500
Fat: 21g
WTF. How could I have forgotten to read the bloody label?! Must have been so so hungry la ):
Really... ruined my day ):
2 gummies!

I feel like getting something to eat now too! Just soooo hungry the whole day!

16/9

Ok, just a short one before I hit the sack. Just really excited now! :D
Muay Thai was really really fun today. And I learnt a lot from Coach. I am definitely sticking to Muay Thai my whole time in SMU, that's for sure. It will be my new love (:
Jess and I are thinking of doing it competitively. Both of us are really one in thought. I guess, coming from a sports CCA prior, both of us can't do anything if it's not seriously. I like the commitment, even if it means extra work and the extra effort to cope with my studies. I am sure I can do it! YES YES, I can (:

Anyway, Peiyi, if you are reading this... Join next sem or something! Got so many angmohs, bet you will like :P Haha!
We'll see if we can work things out with Thomas too! Go try out at his gym. He keeps boasting about his coaches!

This is only my second Muay Thai training! So far we've learnt the basic stance, jabs, crosses, knees, uppercuts and today, elbows and roundhouse kicks. When the senior asked me whether I was right master-foot I said yes cos I really thought I was. Then I amazed myself when I realised that I can do so much better with my left. And two seniors complimented my roundhouse kicks ok! So happy :D I love how loud the strikes are against the pads! Best when I compare to the other girls, like no sound :X Oops! Sorry, I am just trying to make myself happier now :P I am already quite happy. Can you tell?! Tired, but happy.
The warm up was quite "fierce". A lot of sprints, high knees, jumps, pushups... Till I got my lower abdominal pain again. It rarely occurs nowadays, much less than in secondary school. But it really hurts! I went to the toilet to just... wait till the pain subsided before going back to training. Pretty bad.

Next sem, I have to try to bid for my courses wisely. It has to cater to Muay Thai trainings as well. I don't want it to be like today. If I end at 10, I will probably reach home around 11:30pm. And if I have morning class the next day (like I do later!), I will suffer from sleep deprivation! I will be way too exhausted to do any work too! ):

Ok, time to KO! Goodnight (:

13/9 - 14/9 (0045 hours)

This really sucks! Sigh. I'm trying my best to research on TWC. I think I'm getting somewhere, but it's really late! And I really want to sleep NOW. But I can't, cos I have to complete it by tonight BUT I've got classes till 6:45pm. I really don't want to stay back later after school. It's mummy's birthday too! SIGH! So much work to do. But somehow, I will manage. Cos I don't give up, though I might complain lots!

I just got hungry. Snacked on a couple of oat and hazelnut crackers and a chocolate biscuit. Feeling... terrible!

I went to school cos Mal offered to help me with Stats. I really understand much more now! Thanks (:
Thought I would be able to go for Muay Thai today, but no one went, and I don't really know anyone anyways. So decided not to go, but Wednesday is confirmed! Also, was thinking about all the work that's due. I really need the time now to just mug. Mid terms will be coming soon too. Will be transformed to a SMUgger. Though I really don't like to use the term mug, cos I don't think what I am doing is mugging. I don't think I've actually mugged in my life la. Wait, don't get me wrong. I am not saying I'm smart or anything alright?
Got home and did a workout, make up for the loss of activity...
2.4km run
Staircase suicides (6 levels)
3 X 15 burpees (puke!)
3 X 20 bicycle crunches
8 sets 20s/10s air squats

Really... Tired.

Food journal 13/9
Breakfast:
1 slice toast with 2 egg whites, 1 yolk + cheese

2nd meal:
1 piece weetbix + oatmilk

3rd meal:
1 slice bread with tuna

4th meal:
1 slice bread with tuna
1 slice bread with peanut butter and nutella
(SO MUCH BREAD!)
1/2 cup coffee, couldn't finish ):

Dinner:

Minced chicken breast with carrots and potatoes + I don't know what this vegetable is called la! ): It's just damn nice. Haha.

A bowl of papaya. I always eat papaya with lime! Try it! It's the best pairing out there (:
1 cup green tea

Then I snacked at 0030 hours on the crackers and biscuit ): Terrible. But my tummy was hurting. It was calling out for food! ))))):



CT and Biz law. Crap. I hate Tuesdays ):

12/9

We had TWC meeting today. On a Sunday :/ I still can't believe it. I don't enjoy it. I'm just glad we accomplished quite a bit today. Now we just have to work on our individual assignments, to be completed latest Wednesday. I don't know how I am going to chiong so many things but I will sure try! Idea journal, TWC, LTB, biz law. SIGH! So much to do, so little time. All piling up already. SIAN. I need a run soon! Relieve some stress. Luckily there's Muay Thai tomorrow! YAY! :D And Thomas asked me to join his gym. Haha. Funny guy. Love his Muay Thai tattoos. He must really be passionate about it.

Went over to grandparent's house after meeting. Everyone was there. Nice to see the family. Always full of laughter, so merry! And whole day talk cock, so fun. Haha. And my aunt always has dirty jokes, so cool. I like :P Had a wonderful dinner after being deprived the entire day of food!

Food journal 12/9
Breakfast:

2 pieces weetbix with oatmilk and handful of almonds
Really miss having weetbix. I think it's my favourite breakfast option. I can't believe I once hated it. I also can't believe I didn't use to eat breakfast. Only started making it a habit in J1. Think I really forced myself to do it once I heard it was good for me. Initially, was pretty hard, especially since I used to wake up at 5am or earlier every morning to prepare for school. So sick can... Fortunately, school hours are much friendlier now!

Lunch:
1 cup Meiji coffee milk
1 spicy tuna sandwich

New bread. It looked rather interesting, so we bought it last night while grocery shopping. Has flaxseed. Good stuff.

Snack:
1 tau sar pau. Really lack of options! ): Should have packed more to meeting.
I stole some cheese rings from Cindy too. Really very hungry after meeting. I'm always complaining about being hungry in school in particular. Cos I'm just sitting there and all I think about is what am I going to eat next!

Dinner:
The awemose-est meal of the day.

Godpa baked a couple of chickens with his normal mix of herbs. Had the breast meat as usual, along with the rocket, cherry tomato and zucchini salad, feta cheese, olives and avacado. I wish I could eat like this more often! Either this or soup! I really like it (:

Last night we went grocery shopping at 11pm or something. My mum seems to enjoy dragging us out of the house late at night to shop. Haha. But I enjoy grocery shopping. All the yummy, nutritious food. I also try to make it a point to go each time so I can make sure that my mum doesn't buy any junk that she might consume. I banned her from her kimchi noodles. And I am trying to get her off rice and noodles. Hopefully she can maintain this stricter diet while eating out by choosing healthier options as well! If not all the efforts will be futile ): I just want the best for the family. I don't mean to torture or annoy them by nagging about the food they eat. I just think it's for the better, for health!

One section to stay away from. Onion rings, fries... All the frozen deep fried crap. Can't believe I ate so much of these when I was younger :/

Tomorrow will be mugging day. Hope for some help with my stats. Assignment is due Friday!
Mummy's birthday is on Tuesday! Wonder how I can make the day more special for her! Hopefully I don't have to stay back late, and she doesn't work too late again.

Good news: They'll probably be no mooncakes this year to tempt me! (: I hope I don't start craving for them soon. Though I really miss the snow skin, rum filled chocolate centre ones and the flaky yam ones. YIKES!

11/9

I will always remember this day, 9 years back. I was watching the news with my maid. I remember so many details. It hit me more than others because my mum was in the US, though not in the same state. Still, the thought of it really hit me. I called my mum immediately to see how she was doing. I remember crying too.



I was reading the papers in the morning. Some church pastor was threatening to burn copies of the Quran. Idiotic behaviour. I don't understand how anyone can have so little respect and tolerance :/



Woke up with aches all over. Must say it's awfully satisfying. I need a massage NOW. From YOU. You know who you are ok!!!
I've spent nearly all my waking hours today in front of my MBP just doing my work. But I still feel I could have done more. I am not satisfied with the amount of work I've accomplished, and the freaking CT idea journal is not helping! Blame my perfectionism, but I really can't stand my drawings sometimes. I know some people don't care, as long as they draw something it's fine. But I can't stand ugly work. And sadly, I think my drawing is FUGLY. Maybe I should just use Photoshop. Will be so much easier :/

JS sent me what we worked on for our Project Sunshine logo. Really nice stuff. My personal favourites (because I came up with it :P)

Nice? I think so! :D

Food journal 11/9
Breakfast:
2 egg whites, 1 yolk
1 cup green tea

Lunch:

Chicken breast and tofu wholemeal wrap. Very nice and satisfying!
1 cup soya milk

Dinner:

My very Indian dinner today. Would have loved some soup though!
Tofu sambal, stir fried cabbage with lentils and tumeric, ikan bilis. I know I said I don't eat ikan bilis. I do! But only at home or when the heads are not attached! If not they're looking at me. And that's gross la..

Snack:
1 cup green tea
A few strips of dried mango (just wish it wasn't sweetened)

10/9

Made it down to Crossfit today. Second session only! Now I'm nice and sore. Don't we just love that feeling?! Tastes like accomplishment to me (:

In teams of 3:
180 Wall Balls
180 KB Swings
180 Burpees
1800m weighted plate run

Ok la. I used the lightest of everything but still... I'm not as man as people think I am! Good workout, following yesterday's plyometrics. Both make me really chuan... I hate burpees! It came to a point, I really wanted to puke already! And had to take short breaks between each burpee. SIGH. BURPEEEEEEEES! Shall do more at home. Actually Insanity has something like that too. But it's called Level 1-3 drills. Level 1 - 4 push ups. Level 2 - 8, level 3 - 16. So fierce! Haha! Really, don't know why I 'torture' myself sometimes. Ok... Actually I do know why. Just that people don't understand. They think I'm talking nonsense. I hate it when people say, "We're all going to die anyway. Just eat anything you want." Shit no! They obviously don't care about the quality of life. If I get sick and all when I'm older, I'm gonna be a burden and worry to my family. And I will be suffering too. So, I'll stick with my YTF with no rice/noodle, chicken rice with no rice! (: Yummy.

SOMEONE is so fickle can... Haha. Cute (: Makes me smile thinking about it :P

Food journal 10/9
Breakfast:
Oatmeal with peanut butter, banana

Lunch:
Ji Pa
Damn filling stuff. All that protein!

Dinner:
YTF
I don't care what people say! I will eat YTF whenever I please (:
A glass of milk to end the day. So shiok. I can't believe I ever hated milk before...

Tomorrow is mugging day. I can't believe I have to go school on Sunday for TWC! OMG! SUNDAY ): My beloved Sundays )))):
Agenda for tomorrow:
Complete pre-reading for biz law
Attempt biz law assignment so I can class part!
Research on building and construction technology. Wonder if we can talk about rigs. Will be interesting!

Time to sleep soon. Will be so shiok with all the soreness! Wish me luck in waking up tomorrow morning. Haha!

Anyway, this song is really nice!
By My Side by David Choi

I'm just listening to the clock go ticking,
I am waiting as the time goes by.
I think of you with every breath I take,
I need to feel your heartbeat next to mine.
You're all I see, in everything.

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

All the fears you feel inside,
and all the tears you cry,
they're ending right here.
I'll heal your heart and soul;
I'll keep you oh so close.
Don't worry; I'll never let you go.
You're all I need, you're everything.

No one else will ever do.
I got a stubborn heart for you.
Call me crazy, but its true; I love you.
I didn't think that it would be,
you have made it clear to me.
You're all I need.

SWEET! (:

9/9

Today, we had LTB. And it was a disaster... Never get me to draw lots, cos I always end up getting "1".
I picked "1" again today. Worst thing was more than half the group was late!!! C'mon guys! I haven't slept properly in 3 days and I can still wake up at 6am and reach school twenty minutes early! We need some discipline! Next week, I will give serial latecomer, Jit Yew a wake up call! And Timb Homer Alejandro better not go Phuture or Mambo or Butter! Damn, LTB. I think it takes up a lot more time than any other module. But it's still one module! I think our project is pretty good though. E-waste awareness and recycling... Better than just going down to a home one day and expect sustainability. We'll see how our project goes. I really hope it's a success! A+ people! :D

I finally found time to workout today. Haven't really had a chance since last Friday. Things have been crazy. Like a series of really unfortunate, depressing events ): Really got me down, but I think I will do just fine. I have such wonderful people around me, giving me a lot of support. I also realised, in my 4 years of friendship with Peiyi, I never hugged her the way I did yesterday. And it really brought me a lot of comfort. I just released all the hurt inside, we just cried. But it helped. Really crying is... powerful. And hugs, one of the best ways to show your love and concern.
Anyways, digressed...
Today was plyometrics circuit training. I think it's been a month or more since I stopped Insanity. When I looked at the mirror... Mmm... Was in better shape before. Fortunately, Muay Thai starts officially next week! (: And I'm gonna order my equipment from Thailand! Excited. But I don't know which designs to pick! Someone help me please! (: I send you catalogue, you help me see (:

Food journal 9/9
Breakfast:
Scrambled eggs with toast

2nd breakfast:
One soon kueh
Really lack of choices in school ): And queue for coffee at Koufu damn long ):

Lunch:
At Glassroom Cafe,
Porkfessor Sandwich
Yapple (apple blended with yakult)
I am not a big fan of pork, but this lean pork isn't really very porky, so I just had it. Was good. Next time I will try not to eat the bun! But was so hungry. SIGH. Half the group had Carbonara (yikes! pasta!) and potato salad (mayo!).
The drink was pretty good. I mean, better than choosing Coke or Iced Lemon Tea.

Dinner:

Nice hor. My perfect dinner. Chicken breast, mushrooms and brocolli!!!!!!!
2 squeezed oranges
1 cup green tea

Indulgence:
1 piece chocolate (:
Makes me happy!!!!

Another thing that makes me happy... New clothes! Got 5 new pieces today through trades! I likey (:

Forever in our hearts

Today, we bid him goodbye. He was a great guy and we will never forget him.

Remembrance is a golden chain
Death tries to break,
but all in vain.
To have, to love, and then to part
Is the greatest sorrow of one's heart.
The years may wipe out many things
But some they wipe out never.
Like memories of those happy times
When we were all together.

May God guide you in your new journey my friend.
I am sorry I had to cry. It's just that we all will miss you.
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love. And we all love you.
I know you'll find a way to read our messages. Even those on FB. Thanks for leaving such an indelible mark in our lives!
Rest in peace Raj. You will live in our hearts always (:

Isaiah 40:18-31

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Never Gone

You were like a brother to me. I wish I could've stayed all night. I'm really grateful for the time I got to spend with you, although little, it was enough for me to know just how a nice guy you are. Now, you're gone. And yes, we are grieving. But you are in a better place now. God will hold you. God takes those he loves best.
This is how you described yourself : "BORN TO PUT A SMILE ON EVERYONE......" You did. At least for me.
I will see you again tomorrow to say goodbye. But you're never gone in the hearts of those who loved you.
I will miss you badly...

I'm lucky. I've never lost a family member. But I know it's inevitable. I can't imagine the pain of the loss. Now he's gone, it already hurts so badly. How do I not crumble? I just lay on the ground and grieved.
I will kneel in prayer.


Never gone, never far, in my heart is where you are.
Always close, every day, every step along the way.
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye, I know you will be forever in my life.
Never gone...

Buddy

The library had no reception. So when I got out, I saw that sms from my mum. It really hurt. But I tried to be strong. I went back to the meeting, but I had to leave. My heart's just not in it now. I broke down in front of them all and Cynthia gave me a hug. I have really nice friends. And I would really like to thank every one of them. But I just can't speak about it. Not now... I can't stop crying.
I just went to his FB. And I saw messages posted by friends and family. Everyone is praying for him. I close my eyes and pray every so often throughout the day.
I really wanted to hold his hand, but I was afraid that it might hurt. I didn't know what to say, though I have so much I want to. I just didn't want him to hear me cry, I don't think it will help. He needs positive feelings, all I do is cry and cry. I never really knew him. But what I know is that he is an exceptional guy. I kept looking back... Working with him and how we would talk about everything. We'd bitch about this guy and that. He'd go take food for me, yogurt I really loved. He gave me chocolates. He loved playing Cher in the container. I passed him extra safety glasses cos his shattered. The first time I met him was in the office, and my mum made me work with him. I think he's the hardest working chap in that office. He helped me reach for the files on the top shelf, lay them out on the table then boxed them with me. I really enjoyed working with him. He was really... exceptional.
He protected me from weird men onboard. He covered up for me when I went to the rec room after lunch. He messaged me when he knew I was upset I got banned from going onboard. He was so sincere. And I really appreciated it. I just don't think I thanked him enough. And now as he lays there... God, please be with him. I've never felt so much love... An entire family, friends, just so lovingly speaking to him. Please wake up. Surely, with so much love, anything is possible. Against all odds. Please, keep fighting. Keep fighting, cos we're all rooting for you.

It's made me realise so many things. And as confused as I am, I know what I want. I don't want to let go. I don't want to walk away. But you make it so hard for me ):
The silence isn't so bad, till I look at my hands and feel sad. Cos the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly..

Dear God

I pray he will be alright. I really pray with all my heart. Please God.
Life can be so unfair. Why do bad things happen to the best of people? I really wonder.
I couldn't stop crying. I'm lucky to have one person in my life who will never let me down. My brother. He held me when I cried. And I've never felt so comforted in my life. I know we take people we have in our lives for granted. And this really has to stop. I don't want to let go...
It's so hard to be strong at times. Now I know I'm not as strong as I thought I was. Feels like I've been breaking down too many times these few days. It's really taking a toll on me. I feel so tired ): I keep trying... Trying to be ok. I tell myself that I'm feeling swell, but I know I'm such a fool. It's tiring to pretend everything is ok when it really isn't. Do you know how it feels like to feel sadness so strong it breaks your heart? The pain is agonising. Tears are words the heart can't express.
This is me. Now you know...
You call me "no love". But I love with every beat of my heart, you just don't know it...

Please God,
I want this pain to stop.