Time flies by...

One and a half weeks to go and it's the term exams. I'm freaking stressed.
But what the hell am I doing?

NOTHING.

You know those moments when you feel like ripping your hair out due to frustration? Well, I'm having many of those.
And it doesn't help when I can't go to sleep every night. In the dark, all alone, I just think of all the crap in my life. How things are not going the right way or rather, my way. I guess recently I've just been listening to a lot of music. Can't sleep? Just listen to music until you start to doze off. I've kinda stopped listening to most rock songs cos they really have no meaning to them. Seems like I'm searching for meaning now. Meanings of different things, reasons why. Finding a song you can relate to is really...great. That's exactly what I've been doing. And I've been writing a lot too. How poetic...
I'm extremely distracted nowadays. Even when I'm in front of the TV, my mind is somewhere else. I don't even know why I like to think of such horrible, depressing things. Am I bracing myself for something?



I had a good dream last night, it seemed so real. Well. Like they say, all good things come to an end. I just got a horrible jolt back to reality. Reality being not all your dreams can come true. Two possible reasons are: Firstly, it's fate. Or secondly, you're simply not trying hard enough to make your dreams come true. I prefer to believe in the latter.
But of course, there are some dreams you just let go of. Maybe for the time being or maybe for good.


Yesterday was the Science Center outing for the kids from LIFE. It was really difficult chasing the boy around. I've never seen anyone of his age run so quick in my life. I learned something. Kids will do anything for candy. Luckily I bought some because I had anticipated it.
I had fun though. At least it got my mind off stuff for that brief 3 hours or so.

Been walking a lot recently. Walked about 4km yesterday with my brother. He can't run since he's injured. My mum's not letting me go on runs on my own since that thingy happened. GREAT. I'm definitely not going to run in the morning or the afternoon. I hate the weather. Well at least I get more time to spend with my brother.
There's a PW meeting tomorrow morning and I'm still quite uncertain what I'm supposed to be doing.

So much to do, so little time. And there's no one else to blame but myself.

I'm looking back and wondering why, it took so long to realise.
That nothing's changed, and never will, all these years of standing still.
And still we stay in all this pain, and nothing's gonna make it go away.

I really hope not...