27/2

Today, we celebrated Amma and Tata's 50th Wedding Anniversary at Amara Hotel.
We've been talking about taking a family portrait for the longest time, and now, finally, it is done!

I am really lucky to have both my grandparents. They both really love me so much, I know, and sometimes I wish I could be with them more often, better still if I lived with them. When we were living together, I was so happy. When we had to move out, I was really upset that I had to leave them, though they are just 5 minutes away from my place. Sometimes I wonder why I don't go over more often. During my upcoming holiday, I want to make it a point to go over to their place more often, whenever I have the time. It doesn't matter that it's for no reason at all, I should be with them more often.

Mark made a video for today, featuring my aunts, their husbands, Mummy, Godpa and my cousins. Was really nice, very touching. We each recalled our fondest memories or moments with my grandparents and what was the food we loved the most that they cooked. For me, I will always remember how Tata used to love to kiss me when I was younger, and he would shave often and the tiny stubbles would use to grow out. I hated the feeling of the stubble, so he used to have to bribe me with $2 for each kiss. Of course, he still kisses me, but now I don't demand $2 anymore la. Haha!
For Amma, I remember sitting with her on her bed and she teaching me how to write those Tamil words. I could never really remember what they meant, but I didn't want to disappoint her, so I kept writing diligently. I also used to run to their room in the middle of the night to sleep between them. Usually, I slept on the floor in the living room with my maid, but sometimes I would get scared and that's when I ran to them. Ahhh, such fond memories of my childhood (:


Some photos from today:






The dress I took such pains to get. My brother looks handsome!!! Like Korean pop star :D


Best smoked duck.


A few of my relatives made speeches, and got really choked up doing so. We're all really appreciative of my grandparents. Really. Just so loving. Whenever I quarrel with my mum, they are the ones who cheer me up, and protect me. When I'm sick, they come and visit me and bring me sick-people food. I guess what they say is true. In Western culture, love is shown by parents by hugs, kisses and lovey dovey words. For us Asians, love is shown through food. That's why parents often ask us after a long day at school or work whether we've had our dinner. This is the thing that I will always remember from The Joy Luck Club. Really resonates for me!

Met up with my dearest for some shopping and dinner in town after the lunch at Amara. How can the day get any better right? (:
I get to spend it with all the people I love! I am such a lucky girl (:

24/2

I had rice today ):
An entire day of lousy eating. And I'm falling sick now. I feel it. Might be the MSG from the food ): Really starting to feel the sore throat ):

I never wanna eat there again. That's what they call good Indian food?! Please... I have the best Indian food almost every week. And it doesn't contain ghee, coconut milk or much oil at all.
*$^&!

Never again.

23/2

Missed Muay Thai training at Hilltop again. I really need to start training for my fight in August!
Nevertheless, worked out a little:
180 air squats
More jumping pull ups

Hoping to see some progress. I think there's some already. But my elbow's starting to get in the way again. If it doesn't get any better soon, I should really get it checked. The pain now migrates through the entire length of my arm :/

3/3 days since Monday. Monday sprints, Tuesday run and some technique work for Muay Thai. ARGH. I NEED TO TRAIN NOW.

Consultations and lots of meetings from tomorrow onwards. Better get to work!


Have fun at OBS my dear (:

21/2

It's been a long time since I've updated here. I feel like this semester is really taking its toll on me. Time is passing a little too quickly, and it doesn't leave me with much time to do my own things either. It's daunting to think that the project season hasn't even started yet. Last week was really stressful.. Midterms. More stressful than the last, since I kind of gave up on a couple of mods the last time round. Sleeping 4-5 hours a day, with trainings, assignments and midterm papers on the same day...
I think I need a break.

It's week 8 already. Fight team training is back on, which means I've gotta commit 3 days a week to Muay Thai again. I won't be fighting in March or in May, as I don't feel adequate yet, and I don't wanna get my ass kicked. I will be so tired. But it's ok. With time flying like this, it will be over soon, and I can dedicate almost my entire summer to training. I will feel so much stronger again. Totally looking forward to that!

Lots of things happening this week.
1) FA consultation and project meeting
2) BGS project meeting
3) Muay Thai board revamp
4) Trainings at Hilltop
5) Family portrait taking
6) Grandparents' 50th Wedding anniversary

All these and I've gotta squeeze in some time to go through my work. I know I can't slack off now and lose momentum again. Really.. Sometimes I just have no motivation to study..
Well, I told myself I'd try harder this semester.


Am totally emo-ing today. Sigh.
My dear boyfriend, get well soon.
I'm truly blessed to have you.
-hugs-

Loss

I feel that dull pain, and then I cry. It's not the pain. It's the thought of the many others who have known, respected and loved. If I feel this ounce of pain, I can't start to imagine how painful it must be for them. That is the reason I cry.

I want to be selfish. I want those I love to be with me all my life...
Life, is truly so fragile.


It's true. The only way to love something is to realise that it might be lost.

28/12 - 31/12

28/12
Project Sunshine had its first local CSP with Fei Yue, our beneficiary. I was assigned to house 1, warned that there were stray cats that the old lady took in. She really loves cats. She's somewhat of a hoarder, and didn't really want us to throw anything away, no matter how redundant those items seemed to us. There was a 2006 calendar that she refused to give up because there were pictures of cats. So the before and after shots of the house weren't THAT drastic. The house still looked rather cluttered.
Having fallen sick the day before, probably made worse by training, I wasn't so up to cleaning houses. Fortunately, as marketing head, I had to move about the 3 flats taking photos of the process and taking before and after shots of each place. Slack... Phew!
We returned to school for the debrief, dinner and some HTHT. The HTHT was freaking emotional. I was really stunned when I heard a couple of stories. Looks like my life's not the only one with so much family drama. I didn't say much about myself. I found it inappropriate to divulge too much, since I hardly know half of the people there. There are about 7 of my FTB mates in Project Sunshine, and I consider them my friends. But there were people I didn't even know the names of... I was so not keen on sharing "something which impacted you". I just said that I grew up in a single parent family, no father yet never feeling like I was missing something in my life because my mum's a wonderful woman who has raised my brother and I up to be very decent human beings.
After the whole HTHT thing, I received a call from my mum. It was very upsetting. Ahhhhh... Started crying and left the room. I think some saw me, my friend said I was a little flushed. Oh well... What can I do? I feel so torn because I don't want to take sides. All I know is that I love both of them, because they are family, and I don't want my relationship with either to be strained because of one stupid company! I will never make this mistake...
I had to decided to go home and not stay over in school with the rest of the Project Sunshine people. Anyway, next day there was Muay Thai camp which I had to attend.



29/12 - 30/12
Muay Thai camp! It started at 10am with training, but I got there later because I just can't train. I just nua-ed at the side with Tingyan while he took photos of everyone training. He's a good photographer... And his awesome camera sure helps!
Since training is just beside the school clinic, I decided to pop in for a "free" consultation. I really don't like the doctor :/ Got some medication for fever, flu and sore throat. The medication really made me drowsy!
After training, we headed to The Cathay for a Japanese lunch. This was our "sponsored" meal by SMU Muay Thai. Ordered lots of good stuff. Yummy. I grabbed the salmon sashimi and salmon sashimi + mango salad for myself. Some seasoned jellyfish too! Was a good meal, but everyone was so full, and we didn't manage to finish everything! Haha.

We intended to watch a movie at 5pm but returned to school since it was only 3 plus. Planned to play "block catching" at LKCSB. Haha! Failed. Everyone was just so tired from training, or too full to play. So we ended up playing Guess Who, the game that Cindy and I prepared for the camp. It's a damn fun game! :D After everyone had their turn, we all laid down for a bit. I fell asleep because I was really very drowsy from the meds. Then someone started watching a Thai comedy beside me, but I refused to move, so everyone was surrounding me watching the show while I was asleep. I didn't even care. Was KO-ed!
Off to Holland V hawker centre for dinner then a walk to Kelvin's house. Ok, I thought his house was huge. It's an old semi-detached kinda place. Just that it has 5 toilet, 3 with showers. We watched "REC", some Spanish "I Am Legend" kind of show. I think the directing is pretty good. Since it's taken in the view of a camera on someone's helmet as they hunt down some creepy girl for her blood. The ending is pretty predictable, but other than that, it's pretty good I think. I sat in the corner and they were asking me why I wasn't afraid to sit alone. Haha. Maybe if it were a ghost movie... But zombie flicks... Just so fake la. Slept in the living room with the rest of the team... Jin snores damn loudly la. Haha! I kept waking up.

At 7am, they went for a run... I went back to sleep. When they got back, Kelvin cooked up some horrendously unhealthy pancakes. I have never seen anyone put butter and maple syrup INTO the batter! I cooked myself some oatmeal. So much healthier. When I brought it to the table, some of them asked why I didn't make some for them too. I think they were quite freaked out by the pancakes. Lol. We played Guess Who again! This time I played too. I think I guessed mine pretty fast. I was Mona Lisa. When I asked whether I was fictional, they said maybe... I was thinking how mean could they be man. Haha. But once I asked whether I came from France, and they said I was in France, then I knew! :D Mona Lisa.

Got home in the afternoon and slept some more before going to Weijoe's place for his BBQ, I had to, although I was sick, because he had postponed it from the 28th to the 29th just because I had Muay Thai camp. He invited his closest friends only... I guess I should be honoured? Haha. I only knew Hann Khee, the rest were strangers. I got to know some new people... I am not a social butterfly. Anyone who knows me well enough should know that. But I had fun though. We had very interesting conversations with interesting people. Ahhh, I was damn suay la. Hann Khee and I wore the same colours and someone said "Couple dressing, how cute!". ZZZ. Please... Haha.
Mummy met Hann Khee and Weijoe cos they sent me off... Mummy says Hann Khee is not hunky. HAHAHA.


31/12
Really just wanted to nua at home the entire day. But I had to head to Bukit Timah Plaza's DBS to sign some stuff so that I can sign company papers from now on. Super tired sia... I took the bus back home, wanted to nap but the time was just not right... Sian. Medication still making me awfully drowsy. It's been 5 days and I am still sick. Not very, but still sick! Sick enough to disallow me my workouts. I've only had one training this week, which was on Monday. Argh. Feel so shitty and unphat lor, seriously...
I was really feeling very depressed this entire week with being sick and the whole company shit... Then came the fight thing. What is this?! A hat trick?! ARGH. Kelvin texted me saying that they can't find an opponent for me, no one in my weight category. The closest is Mel, but she has significantly more experience than me, plus she just got back from training in Thailand and Terence doesn't think it would be suitable to put us against each other. So what does this mean? Are you telling me I can't fight next week? ): Kelvin says it's such a pity since I trained so hard for it. You're damn right I trained so hard lor. This is seriously so f-ed up... I wanna fight. Now I am seriously considering fighting in August if they can't find me an opponent for this competition.


Baking some cookies now with Jeremy. I will probably bring some to school too. Give Hann Khee and Weijoe. They bought me some stuff from The Body Shop for Christmas. Do I stink or what? Haha. Oh wells...
School is about to start... I haven't found all my books yet. I hope this coming semester will be a better one! My whole holiday I've spent training... Ahhh depressing...
That said, I don't regret the training. It's made me much stronger. I've made wonderful friends and team mates. It's been great, really.
In fact, the whole of 2010... I don't remember being happier. There's really so much to be thankful for. I had such an experience working in Maersk, I climbed vertical ladders, ate a hell a lot of smoked salmon, made new friends and found the most wonderful guy! (: I don't resent the waking up at 4:30am.
I started school at SMU, a new start. I was glad to leave AC behind. I told myself I would enjoy school again, and I think I will. Well, more so this coming semester since I bid with my friends this time round.
I found new friends in SMU. Yup, I did. Anti-social Maddie. It's funny how my friends call me this and stuff like "no love", yet they're my friends huh... I'm not that bad. It just takes a while for me to open up and show my warmth and fuzziness.
I picked up Muay Thai. I can now officially kick ass!

Well... So many things have happened this year, both the good and the bad.
But I shall look back on 2010 with fond memories. Here's hoping for an even greater 2011 (:

23/12, Christmas and its eve (:

23/12
Had to wake up way too early for the Project Sunshine meeting. Was late for it! Then again, only half were in attendance, and half of that half were late anyway! Jinsiong asked me to wait for him at Dhoby Ghaut cos he didn't want to be late alone. Haha!
Had an awesome Subway lunch with Jin. Subway has shifted to the School of Information Systems! Looks like not much reason to visit SOE anymore then!

Ok, I didn't have this. Haha. I had a wrap. This was from Wednesday's lonely dinner at Central! I had a terriyaki chicken wrap instead. It's sad how the salad costs $7!

Walked around town for many many hours after! Haha. I am so fickle. And I wanted to get the best so... That meant lots of walking! From Dhoby Ghaut to Somerset, then to Orchard!
Got hungry. My snack:

Wild berries with plain yogurt. I like how this yogurt is totally not sweet!

Got home and started my baking! Aunty threw away my bend and bake! ): My reusable silicon cupcake holders ):
My first time using so little butter in a recipe. Hmm. Was afraid they might be a little too dry but... I thought they were ok! Did the coffee frosting the next morning!




24/12

Training once again. Reached Hilltop about 45 minutes later than I usually do. Lots of things I had to accomplish before leaving my place. Like packing baby's yummy (quite) chocolate muffins with coffee frosting.

They don't taste so good without the frosting ): But that usually happens when I try to make things healthier. The amount of butter for the entire batch of cupcakes was 1/3 of a stick of butter. That's very little!

Anyway, training was so-so. 5 people once again. I don't think anyone really had the mood to train on Christmas eve! Skipped, shadow boxed, bag work, personal training by Terence, more bag work... Then I left earlier for a fishy dinner! (: Mmm, fries.
"Oil and potatoes both grow underground so french fries may have eventually produced themselves, had they not been invented!" Hahaha.

After dinner, I was seriously debating whether I should go for midnight mass. I've always only gone for midnight mass. Was feeling so exhausted and sleepy!
This year is the first year I remember going for mass with Jeremy.
Father Terence really knows how to make people feel guilty. Haha. I feel bad sometimes when I go for mass.
The thing I like about St. Anthony's is that it is still rather traditional. We still sing hymns, and not stuff like Hillsong. I know Hillsong is nice and all... Used to love singing those songs at chapel back in AC. But they are just so... contemporary. I don't quite like the modern bullshit. Sometimes I feel that the meaning is lost. Maybe that's why I stopped going... Not because I don't believe. I am sure I do more so than some of those who go for Sunday mass every week.
Well, I had fun at mass. It's nice. It used to be so torturous when I was younger.
Walked home from church.. Reached home past 2am. Slept really late!




25/12
Woke up too early! Haha. Oh man, I need more sleep. I don't want my pimples to start coming out again!
Had lunch at Amma's house with the rest of the family. Really awesome food. Roast beef (best!), roast chicken, 3 different kinds of potatoes (lemon thyme, dill and chives), romaine lettuce and cherry tomatoes, a huge ass bowl of fruits (blueberries, cherries, mango, apple, guava, grapes, oranges). I ate so much...


Aunty Marion had to keep aside some of the fruits, especially the mangoes and cherries for Uncle Simon. Hehe. I am a monster for these fruits!!!! (:

Met my dear for a bit in the afternoon. So hemsem in the checkered shirt. Hehe (: Ahhh... So nice to spend some time with you (: Bouldering soon!!!!
Bought a white hoodie for Jeremy at Uniqlo. Pretty nice leh... And he loves it! He's hugged me thrice in two days. Haha (:

Pretty much had the same thing for dinner. The beef was just so good!!! Lean and tender. Mmm.. I could eat it for days.



It's amazing how as kids, presents were such a big deal. As the years go by, I just really wanna spend the day with people I love love love! And this Christmas, I did exactly that! (: Sweet (: The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree - the presence of a loved ones all wrapped up in each other.
There's really nothing more I can ask for.


Christmas in Bethlehem. The ancient dream: a cold, clear night made brilliant by a glorious star, the smell of incense, shepherds and wise men falling to their knees in adoration of the sweet baby, the incarnation of perfect love.