Shit happens

Oh well... It's probably big news now. It's pretty F-ed up but it's ok. I will deal with it somehow. Everything is just being blown right out of proportion. It's so sickening. I know it's my fault though. I cannot shirk responsibility. But if I lay hands on that bastard, I swear I will KEEEEEEL him. Shit!

She's not home yet. Don't know what's going to happen later. Pray things don't blow up.

Can't say it was a horrible day though. Sigh. Really bittersweet kinda feeling.



I know it isn't easy for you. But you don't have to go around saying nasty things about me to everyone just because you are angry. I will not stand for this. You want me to fuck off, now I want you out of my life too. It's much easier that way. I hate your sarcasm. I hate who I see now. Guess my decision was right.

Mummy's Day

It's Mother's Day today! The day we show appreciation to the woman who gave us life. I love my mummy. But I don't remember saying "I love you, mummy." I've only said "Who says I don't love my mother" whenever she argues with me. I do little things every day to show her exactly how much I love her and how lucky I am to have her as my mum. Although I may not agree with her on many things and everyone always sees or hears us at each other's throats, I am glad she has brought me up in this way. I wish I had more time with her. That's part of the reason I work at Maersk now. I saw how my brother and her got closer when he worked there on the last project. I wished I could too.
She is an amazing woman. Because of her, my life is secure and comfortable. It wasn't always this way. But she did everything she could to make sure that her children wouldn't have to go through the hardships that she did.
Tough, intelligent, beautiful, motivated, hardworking, devoted... Laugh at me if you want but I aspire to be like her. She's the biggest motivation in my life. Sometimes I wonder how I can achieve as much as she has in her life. She's just that great. I am just a little embarrassed to tell her. Asian culture. We don't say it.

Bought her MJ's This Is It because she wasn't able to catch it in the theaters. She was extremely happy when I gave it to her. Bought his Number Ones album too, along with Andrea Bocelli's songbook. I know her best (:

She is sleeping now. I am happy she is getting some rest. She works too hard sometimes. I used to stay up past midnight to make sure she got home safely from work. AHHHH! Just so thankful. And everything she does is for us.

Happy Mothers' Day! (:

Like a Dream

At the guard post onboard now. Raj has gone to pack lunch and eat. All alone singing songs to myself again (:

Thoroughly enjoyed my boat ride this morning despite taking the shit boat (: I put my legs up and listened to my BSB (:
Amazing songs! Smiling to myself (((((((: ARGH! I'm mad.
What a smile (:

You appear just like a dream to me.

Total Insanity

All I have to say now is... OMG. I can't believe how insanely hard that workout is. I can't finish all the intervals la! Missed out the last two and a half. My arms and legs are shaking now... Haven't felt this way since I first started fencing. Finding it difficult to type this post even! AHHHHH! Suffering but it feels goooooood! Feeling like a masochist now. HAHA! Plyometric cardio circuit training. I shall conquer you soon! (:

Wish me good luck tomorrow morning! Hope I am able to climb the vertical ladder! :/

Last night, went out to celebrate my special day with the Keppel hunks :P
We went to Wala Wala and then to 3 Monkeys. Totally out of my diet yesterday but it's ok! Moderation is key. Anyway, "detox" today! Haha. The guys were so sweeeeet la. I cannot take it already. I was so touched (not enough to cry though). Hmmm. They gave me sweet sweet gifts. Very thoughtful indeed! The biggest surprise was the Subway sandwich. Not 100% the way I like it, but I forgive you! I think I told someone that I don't want a cake this year. I just want a subway sandwich (: Someone remembered (think it's py), and they bought it for me! (: So nice.
Anyway, this is how my order goes:
1) Honey Oats
2) Toasted with cheese
3) Oven roasted chicken breast/veggie patty
4) All vegetables except onions, bell peppers and tomatoes
5) Yellow mustard + sweet onion
6) No meal please! Unless I'm extremely greedy then one oatmeal raisin and one white chip macademia. Barley for the drink!
THANKS!

Took pictures with all of them! (: Will upload soon. Edited my favourite photo. HEEE! Scandalous. My phone's editing functions not bad. Got mirror image function, RGB etc. Nice (:
Oh well... No words can describe the day. I just really enjoyed it. Good company (:
Xiao Lao Gong was very thoughtful. He made sure I got home safely. Messaged me to ask whether I was inside the house already. AWWWW! Hmmm. By the time I slept was almost half past midnight! Looked at the photos one last time before sleeping. So sentimental, eh? (:
Decided to write a letter for each person. Folded into my trademark paper planes and gave each of them an airline.

SIA, Nippon, American, JetStar, Tiger, SilkAir (:
I'm sure they were pretty touched by my gesture.

Mok came to visit. Asked his usual question. I'm keeping hush hush. Then he went on about vibrators. MMHMMMMM! No joke. Better than the real thing. Oh my gosh! So sick. But he's so funny. I shall not hold anything against him although he likes to make fun of me. Mad Monkey, Big Nose (his nose is big too LOR! Anyway, nose big = more money), Smurf etc. I don't think I'll be seeing him anytime soon. He is going on his honeymoon to Europe for three weeks. By then, I'd be gone ): SOBS! Can't imagine not seeing them everyday at work )))))))): SIGHS! AHHHHHH! I'm gonna start whining soon ):

The Only Exception

I find it difficult to say that I had a good day at work today. Hmmm. Intruder alert! Intruder alert! HAIYA! I know it's really bad of me, but I can't shake the feeling. I know nothing about him. He knows nothing about me. Yet, there he goes again with the stories of death, possession, his kids and how controlling he is and how uncontrollable they are. My mum really has a good heart. She reaches out to these relatives of ours who don't give a rat's ass about us most of the time, until they need the help. Sometimes, I feel like we're being taken advantage of. She's now helping two of them, but how have they ever repaid her? ARGH. I don't like it. I never liked the idea. But I guess if I were her, I would do the same. Maybe the third person scrutinizes more. But is it so wrong to show just a little gratitude? I see none.

Had a visit from the two lovers today. They really brighten up my day! SIGH. I'm gonna miss them when I'm gone and when they are off for holiday. ARE YOU READING THIS?! I'm so soft-hearted eh? Haha. Xiao lao po... Funny leh!

Am going onboard tomorrow. First boat! Gonna sleep now!



I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning.
When you wake up, leave me with some proof it's not a dream...



Nice (:

Slumber

Feels good to have a day off, doesn't it? Don't think I'll get another till the Naming Ceremony is over though. I'm going to fully appreciate this day! (:
I AM SO SO SO SO HAPPY NOW! My double eyelid is back! WOOOOOOO. At least for now it is :/ Please don't run away from me ever again!
Stay with me, don't let me go. Cos I can't be without you.

HAHAHA. I'm really very happy now. Can you tell? (:
Plus, my body is nice and sore again. I hope I'm walking normally. Though I doubt so...

My mum attempted to wake me up at 9:30am, but I wouldn't have it. I kept whining till she let me be. My grandma scolded her. My grandma hates it that I'm working cos I'm constantly looking tired. She also doesn't like it that I've become much tanner after all the cycling under the sun. It's ok Amma! It'll be over soon. I LOVE YOU! (:

Having my breakfast now at 1226 hours. NICE. Cooked some oats and under recommendation from Cheah, I've decided to mix in some peanut butter. I bought natural peanut butter from Adam's. It's my favourite brand. I like my peanut butter crunchy! The previous time, I bought the one that needs to be mixed. Tried the No Mix one this time. It has no sugar added. Nice and savoury. I like~

People will be coming over soon. Milo and Cosmo will be at each other's necks. Those 2 dogs... They have a love-hate relationship. Can't wait to carry my godsister again. She's so cute. I really feel like biting her. OMG. Too cute. I've just seen my cakes. SHIT. They look too good. I shall attempt to exercise my self-control later. Just ONE small slice. Not gonna eat both. Wish me luck :/

ouch

Was looking through my folder which contains all of my inspiration for my future fashion empire (HA!), and I found a photo of myself in the gown I tailored for GX's commissioning ball. It cost me $320. The most painful thing, though, was travelling to town every week (sometimes more than once a week) for like a month just to get the fitting right. I made 2 wasted trips there. I remember so clearly. Sigh. Now, looking at the photos, I really don't know what to do with the gown anymore. I do love it. The colour is amazing, really. But I probably will never get the chance to wear it again. WHAT TO DO?! Thinking of my initial plan to rent it out. But it's not so easy. How many girls are my size and height. I'm a UK size 2/4, US size 0 or something. It's not that I'm skinny. I'm just small boned. I don't have a skinny body. I have curves. I think. I see them. Maybe you don't. Haha. I have cellulite. My worst enemy. But it's improving now, the more I work out (:






Me on my fat day. ARGH.

Is it nice? I really don't know what to do with it. Hmmmm...