I love the library

For hope is but the dream of those that wake.
I can't wait till Monday is over. There are many things I want to do. But first, I want to take time off for myself. Give myself time to sleep. I'm still waking up relatively earlier, compared to SOME PEOPLE. Haha. Sleeping after midnight and waking up at 9. I wake up at 7 and I literally force myself back to sleep. I woke up at 10:44am yesterday. My gosh, it felt good. I went to Woodlands library to mug alone and read some books. Oh man, I love reading. I'm going to the library often after Monday to read silently in the corner beside that potted plant. It shall be my haven (:
Meanwhile, been trying physics. Hard la. I feel so frustrated with myself, but I really want to try. Shit. Why didn't I give it my best before? Now I have no one to blame but myself. I feel demoralized each time I can't do the bloody paper. I'm giving myself a hard time and I don't handle stress well. So yes, I feel like turd -.-
Ghim taught me physics today. Very patiently. I was surprised. He should seriously consider being a tuition teacher. Well, bless him. He has really helped me a lot these pass 2 weeks. And he has also offered me a lot of encouragement in terms of econs and chemistry. At least he found it hard. Means nj people also find it hard la. At least I still got hope then. Haha. Thanks.
Tomorrow shall go RP to study after breakfast and have lunch with my beloved brother. Subway here I come! I seriously cannot get sick of it (: Then there's tuition. Sigh. I hope all this will prepare me just a little bit for Monday. It's like major cramming. 2 years worth of crap all in 5 days? Well, at least I kinda understand Superposition and circuits now. He is seriously better than our physics teacher. Like a gazillion times. Sometimes the teacher you have can really make or break you. And although they like to say that you are fully accountable for your studies but how do you expect me to do well when I have such substandard resources. She doesn't even turn up for consultations. I cannot accept that. But at the same time I also pity her. So I don't know what to say now. But life isn't easy, it wasn't meant to be. You have to work hard to get what you want. And if you ask me now if I think I can pass, I'd say that I don't deserve to pass. Because I haven't put in the effort. And I can't expect things to work out perfectly for me all the time. It isn't O levels. Not doing your work in secondary school and just reading the textbook one day before the paper can still get you a B3. Decent. Try this crap now and see what you get. The A level paper 1 isn't easy either. I tried the 08 paper and compared to schools' prelim papers, it's really hell. But shall not give up too easily. I'm not one to. Or rather I want to believe that I'm not.

Was having a talk with my mum about the future and what I want to do with my career. Of course everyone wants to do what they would enjoy doing. And I would really want to do something either in fashion or food. I am dead serious. I know a lot of people think that it's not viable and there's no guarantee in these industries but I sincerely believe I can do it and do it well. I have my mum's support so what else do I really need? I really want to do it! Do you think I'm crazy? The future isn't far away and it's really about time I start thinking seriously what I wanna do. I don't want to end up in the army like what my Godma asked me to do. She said people like me will excel in the army. Yeah... Haha. Actually I don't know either. When I was really young, I wanted to serve NS cos my Godma was then a Captain and I thought it was so cool. I used to go to SAFTI's Open House every year or something. And I got to fire the SAR 21, ride in a tank, sit in some plane. Was so cool. I thought that was the life for me. Haha. But now, though I still like the tough ass stuff, I guess what my mum said was right. I can't always be a tomboy. So JIA JUAN, if you are reading this, one day you will become more feminine. Haha. And I will make you wear a mini skirt one day I swear! (:
Alright, back to studying. Shall finish another paper. Goodnight!

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.